As you know lovers who have spent many years together, the couple is like a delicate plant that must be cared daily for not wither. Some behaviors are like poison for love, and they should be taken into account to remove them as they begin to grow like weeds. Notes 7 things that ruin your relationship.
Judge. Committing to a person is to start really know. After a few months of relationship, especially if they begin to live, no longer see your partner only when left to go to dinner at a nice place, the two well-groomed and having left parked in casa.Oh problems, and of course they are willing to spend big in bed after the desktop. The friction makes the love, but also exposes the foibles, habits, fears and beliefs of the other person. And all this leads to frequent misunderstandings and even couple crisis. Not to avoid arguments, because if managed well can help them grow and empathize better, but you have to try not to judge and condemn your partner like you to know all or were perfect. Love is to understand, forgive, get into the skin of the other, accept, build bridges.
Shut up. A healthy relationship is a balance between giving and receiving. You must not shut anything that makes you feel bad, because all you will achieve will be to create a huge imaginary ball that will become increasingly heavy, like those worn by prisoners tied to the ankles in cartoons. And you’re done embittered is not good for anyone. If any habit of your spouse bothers you so much, tell (tactfully). If you think the division of housework is not fair, I talk it over with him. If you think your mother abused too often to visit them, coméntaselo. And so on. Better still if you seek a moment a week to do just that: talk, discuss, express, share views, agree.
To compete. People that life as a competition are taken can create a very stressful environment around them. So if you are always midiéndote with your partner or vice versa, coexistence will be seriously altered. The two live in tension. The racing, he lives to satisfy their need to be above. And the other, because it will always feel questioned and anxious. So if you are the person who competes, ask where they come from these desires to be the best and get recognition (perhaps you felt that your children do not valued enough unless you were “good”?) And try to heal that Children’s wound. And if you’re on the other side, try not to get into the game spend your life show that you are good enough. If both really love and not have to prove their worth. It is taken for granted.
Criticize. Many cohabiting couples who have long fall into the bad habit of criticizing each other. For everything and anything. It begins when some habits or other character traits that before you were indifferent or even liked you suddenly start to bother you. And instead of having patience and empathy, or explain to your partner how you feel, choose to keep quiet. Because you do not know how to talk to him or her without arguing, for fear that you do not understand or to fight. However, when you swallow your discomfort you end up feeling frustrated and irritable, you make unfair criticism and hints and comments that the other will hurt more than a discussion, and are building a wall of silence and resentment that away each other spears.
Losing forms. There is a Spanish saying that says “Trust disgusting”. It refers, of course, that when two or more people share the same space just aside politeness and good manners. Well, it is logical that if you take time living with your partner he will not hold the door every time you’re going to go to the kitchen and she runs like crazy to kiss you every time you walk through the door. But they should never lose respect. By the time a couple starts to be neglected and may even insulting, their marriage crumbles in an almost irreparable. We all like to treat us well, and a couple both need to feel respected and respect others, be kind because it helps a lot to maintain a fluid (and sexual desire alive!) coexistence The opposite is to their presence He is sitting, as if it were a piece of furniture. And leads, eventually, to a tense, sad and negative environment that can become a hell from which one wants to escape.
Hide feelings. There are more expressive than other couples, but they are as they are not must never forget how important it is to share your feelings. Whenever you say “I love you” strengthen their union and their decision to share life are remembered. Whenever your fears, that reveal the other their dreams or let you into their dark areas are opening their hearts to the other count. They will feel loved, accepted, understood. You will find what we all seek in love and the couple: shelter, encouragement, love. Instead, when hide their feelings build a wall that moves away from the other, sometimes very quickly. Many relationships are frustrated by not talking, not knowing how to share even trying, by choosing close, silent, swallowing.
Comparing yourself with other couples. Do you really think the neighbor’s grass is always greener? Beware of comparisons, because all you see other couples is its external image. Even if it is your brother and your partner, or your best friend and her husband, and know them well, be sure that you ignore many aspects of their privacy. Other couples may give an image of seeming perfection, but at home not stop arguing, or a woman assumes her marriage when deep down you feel unhappy because her husband does not understand. If you look at it just seems perfect and better than yours, you’re watching just one scene of the film, an image that does not reflect the whole reality. And you amargarás thinking that others are worse off than you, entering a spiral of victimhood.