When you keep a relationship that makes you feel full, your heart knows … But sometimes the mind is determined to move forward, for fear of loneliness or abandonment, not wanting to accept the sense of failure or stress It involves taking a different path, etc.
The problem of denying your unhappiness is that you can live morning or good stages with your partner, with your friends distract or shopping, and at that time you convince yourself that you’re not so bad. But if it does not work, sooner or later they end up sprouting again sadness and dissatisfaction, and every time they do it with more intensity. Therefore, the sooner you become aware of the situation, the more strength you will have to face it.
A good way to begin is to identify the signs that are immersed in an unhappy relationship. Do you recognize yourself in most or all below? Then it’s time to reflect or seek help.
Shopping self-help books looking for solutions and comfort, and find some relief as you read about situations that you feel identified. But as the relationship does not work, go back to read one another without actually changing anything.
You try autoconvencerte that your feelings are wrong, and give them around until you find a rational argument that reassures you. This strategy is very damaging because it is to think instead of feel. And while you may not be aware of your feelings will not find relief or strength to act.
You blame yourself it does not work: you’re “too much” this or “too little” other, “you should” change, your problem is that “do not know how to be alone”, etc.
Das too little change, and in doing so you want to convince you that your love is selfless and unconditional. But deep down you do it because you feel inadequate and fearful that you leave.
The relationship is like a roller coaster: full of ups and downs, moments of elation or excitement followed other dramatic or sad. Serenity absent.
You feel lack of vitality, tired, anxious. You do not have energy to face your everyday life or undertake projects that excite you because all your attention is on your unbalanced relationship.
They want to change each other, they are not accepted as they are. Perhaps you feel that your partner who is only intended that you conform to your wishes. But if you reflect, you will notice that you do the same with him.
Although there may be complicity, sexual attraction or a good chemistry between the two, there is no real intimacy. They do not open your heart to the other or is vulnerable, risking shed masks and breastplates.
No share fundamental values and future plans. And even if it hurts, you deny to others and to yourself with arguments like “we must live in the present moment” or “I’m very independent.”
Your partner, deep down, do not like. Certainly attracts you, you have to love and is very possible that you do not imagine life without him by your side. But think: Is it love or dependency? Are you attracted by all that is or is a fatal attraction to the kind of man you do not agree? You’ll know if your best friend asks you to talk about him and instead of feeling that the heart will swell with love, admiration and tenderness can not help but get to talk about their shortcomings or off steam by telling everything, not really you like it (and much).