What that leads to a person who is a couple flirting online? Why spend hours in front of the screen when unknown luring probably have someone waiting in the sheets of the bed? What is the reason why someone would prefer cybersex to an encounter skin to skin? Is virtual flirtation infidelity?
Actually the online flirtation is a way to channel some fantasies and also to reaffirm the ego, the power of conquest. It is touch the fire without burning. Play conquest from the comfortable position of anonymity. Any individual can become a profile on a social network and from there get to play as an actor in his role. It’s just another avatar.
We should ask why someone who is a couple needs to keep winning, keep reaffirming their skills conqueror. It’s a matter of ego, has, many times, nothing to do with love real plane. It is a playful aspect that can not go any further.
The problem is when this game becomes an obsession. When the real person behind the online profile begins to believe and feel in such a way and with such force that exceeds the screen and interferes with their daily life and relationships.
I asked this same question to friends, acquaintances and professionals. I have your answers here.
Dra. Tanginika-Simone Cuascud Vega
The concept of infidelity has as many definitions as human beings. Many define infidelity as sexual intercourse accomplished with a third person when the participant is previously committed a relationship such as marriage. Other people define infidelity as the single act of fantasizing about a carnal encounter with another person who is not your partner. Some people consider infidelity anything that distracts attention and time consuming someone outside your relationship. Thus, for many, to be an avid fan of a sport could be considered infidelity. On the other hand, technology has made viable human interaction beyond the boundaries of time and space. Cyberspace via email and social media, among others, to facilitate people become involved in dynamics of flirtation and fantasy from the security, privacy and convenience of your computer. If the virtual flirtation is considered infidelity depends on the individual and the couple. For many, the light flirtation, especially when not face to face, is harmless. But not everyone agrees with this notion. When the flirtation begins to consume time partner, the person involved in the flirtation loses interest in your partner and when the flirtation begins to take a turn planning a personal encounter, and flirtation goes from being an “innocent” act to win the potential to go out of control and end up in a romantic or sexual relationship. Of course, if the couple have a prior arrangement to maintain an open relationship and sex outside of the relationship permitted, tacitly or explicitly, then no infidelity be considered;. I understand that the key to the definition of the infidelity is how individual definitions of infidelity in the context of couple reconciled. One must understand that the cultural and religious contexts, among others, have great influence on the moral paradigms within the couple. However, in the end, limits and parameters of what is considered infidelity you must set the couple and for this to happen is imperative frank, open and healthy communication.
I organized in 2009 a series of debates on “Virtual Feelings” and in this issue was discussed. In short (very summarized): it has to do with mirror neurons (empathy and learning). We consider that it is not if the fact flirting (whether or not virtually) not interpret it as an infidelity itself.
If a look is unfaithful … A chat is worse … it seems to me that the infidelity and implied guilt and penance from concept should carnally consummated up … the rest is impossible to control … are healthy desires and feelings if they are expressed and contain contaminants if …. but on second thought even that … somehow when we treat someone in person and voice … fantasize just as when we do it virtually, through a keyboard … and if not, what ties mean, broken jeans, makeup, nail polish, perfumes, girlish voice throaty or perversely … the stories of the past few selectively and with additions and cuts …. corresponding literary and pictorial catch phrases, which in many cases are nothing more than references … all this builds the personality that we want others to take us and in turn we seek what we see. Some believe that looking in the eyes of his fellow member, they know if “this or that” and ensure that the eyes are clear … we … do not … it just depends on how sophisticated and make it your expert counterpart. The basic problem of Internet relationships is not at themselves … they are asocial so desperate that only virtually can fantasize … and also believe they will find someone sincerely and forever …
The virtual flirtation between two people who do not personally know is a chimera. The virtual flirtation between two people who know, can be a game or something else …
So it not all means the same, because not all people live alike. Try putting a preserve the virtual flirtation is like trying to prohibit sexual fantasies on the other. Perhaps there are times when the personal image of an individual is reaffirmed with the praise expressed by a third party. When the routine is great in a couple, the room’s erotic gaze of a third person, sexuality implicit in a comment, sexual fantasy reflected in the online game, can be a boost in self-esteem. You have to know very well draw the line in the game.