Couple and dependence how far?

Living with a partner does not mean giving individuality. The whole thing of being “better half” take it as a metaphor, but do not believe it. Nobody is half of another. Moreover, to keep your personality, your tastes, your way of seeing life in a relationship is what enriches and makes it grow. It is true that a couple needs two, but in all walks of life.

Keep separate spaces in the couple

Maintaining independence and autonomy to some degree is essential for a healthy relationship. Each of the members has common interests with the other, but also has different preferences enjoys. Sacrificing own taste by the likes of the other is a common misconception in the name of love which only bring problems in the medium or long term.

It is inadvisable not cultivate their own interests, not maintain contact with old friends or not to continue practicing sports and activities you liked before I met your partner.

Having separate activities facilitates separation time, fresh air, necessary to miss, miss the other. The desire to see your partner is given the temporary absence of it.

labor independence in the couple

There are cases where one partner shares more than love. They work in the same company or run the same business. In these cases the hours of leisure time and work are consecutive and there is no separation between the roles. Labor problems take home and marital conflicts result in poorer professional performance.

These couples are those who most need an independent space force other. This may not seem necessary is very important to stay for a separate time. One of the most important things is to share news, impressions, experiences with your partner. Being together 24 hours will impoverish the particular view of things, excessive symbiosis with the loved person creates an emotional bond of lack of personal identity. you do not know if you like something or if the couple likes something.

common and different friends

It is inevitable, being with friends, share a group of friends. Generally couples of the same age, with similar interests and traversing the same time as us. But also have individual friends is an excellent idea. Keep the affections of our childhood or college. The working group, or colleagues with whom we share a hobby or activity. A space for different codes to the couple. Oxygen, fresh air that allows you to appreciate and yearn for each other’s company.

Do not confuse love with dependence

Love does not demand that you give up everything to become what your partner wants you to be. First, what you love is who you are. If you cancel it, it disappears the magic that made you to be the person chosen to love the other. To check if you’ve lost sight of your independence, checks the following points

1) You keep friends before you as a couple?

2) Do you keep a hobby that you like regardless of whether it is shared?

3) Do you play any sport or activity that makes you belong to another group of people?

4) Do you have a place in your home you can consider “your corner”, where nobody bothers you?

5) Do you see the TV programs, movies or listen to music that you like?

6) Do you eat what you like?

7) Do you know absolutely all the friends of your partner?

8) Do you have something new this time to tell your partner, however small?

9) Do you feel you need a moment alone? Do you enjoy disproportionately when that happens?

10) Do you remember what it means to be “I” and not “us”?

Look slowly in your responses and feelings you have to answer them. If your relationship is becoming asphyxiating, talk it over with your partner. Need some independence is not love less. Remember that “the best thing going, it’s back.”