Giving and receiving, the two faces of love

A satisfying love is based on a healthy ability to give and receive. We speak of love, support, help, trust, respect. Qualities that are shaping the relationship between the couple and who must travel in two directions. As much to say that true love is to give without expecting anything in return, learning to receive is equally necessary for harmony in the relationship.

unbalanced relations

Giving love is undoubtedly one of the most rewarding experiences of life (if not more). But within a relationship, the act of giving must be balanced. Many women with self-esteem issues make the mistake of giving too much for fear stop loving them and leaving, which end up smothering your partner and losing respect for themselves.

Not a few men also give too, in its way: try to dazzle women with gifts or entertainment, becoming saviors and servers, as if its value depended on how many material things are or how much practical help can be given.

These people, both men and women, have difficulty receiving affection, attention and respect due to lack of love and trust they have in themselves. It is possible that others (and themselves) consider them very nice people. The problem is that some of that goodness is actually adopt a submissive behavior because they want to be accepted, not by a true generosity.

Two sides of the same coin

On the other side of the coin people who believe in the right to receive continuously, and require your partner to provide them with the utmost attention and resources are. This is a childish and immature attitude, selfish and insatiable. Causes dissatisfaction self (who does not know how to find happiness within it and becomes dependent on the other despite his tyrannical attitude) and resentment between the couple, who realizes that he is giving the best of itself without receiving to change affection or recognition.

Attract similar energies therefore likely to give people too are often found with demanding receive continuously. This creates an unbalanced and painful relationship.

Examples of not knowing give or take too

Get a shield for fear of showing us as we really are.

Having a partner and being unfaithful or keep the door open to other romances.

Hide the true feelings behind a shell of “bad boy” or “tough girl”.

Give only if we receive in return, or get angry if we do not respond as we think they should.

To become the “savior prince” or “essential partner”.

Examples of not knowing receive or overtax

Do not accept gifts or compliments, and respond to them with phrases like “do not be silly” or “you did not have to.”

No request / accept help, support or care.

Not know to be vulnerable or weak or mourn.

Let him who always pay on dates and hope to satisfy all your whims.

Darla her for granted and do not pay attention or believe you have to be at your service.

Give the couple emotional blackmail or threaten to leave when it does not behave as we want.

How to balance giving and receiving

To harmonize the giving and receiving in your relationship, you can begin to identify what areas you give or receive in excess or defect, and how you feel about it. For example: “I’m always available to him and never thanks me.” Acknowledge your feelings of discomfort and frustration (admit your own feelings is also a healthy way to learn to receive) and think about an action you can do to change them. As seek support from your friends or sincerarte with your partner to give you the opportunity to know you’re hurt.

Beyond preferences and ways of being of each of the routines that create between the two or differences between the female energy and male, a couple is a small universe, a team of two who join forces and capabilities become stronger. So lasting love is one in which both know how to give and receive. Sometimes, he should be strong for her and others should be vulnerable. She must know hold you when you need it, and take refuge in his arms when you crave comfort. The balance between these two forces becomes a wonderful source of harmony, love and security, a dance in which two papers are continually exchanged.