Everyone likes to have a stable partner to share love, joy and life together. Loving and being loved is a great comfort. But those are not always the reason to live with a partner, but players rarely admit it, even to themselves. If any of the following reasons is your priority when living with a partner, think, think again and do not fool yourself. What is not real, eventually takes its toll and cause pain.
Many women, not only lesbians but can be an added reason, fear or are tired of living alone. After a while, the independence and autonomy of being alone at home becomes routine, it can sometimes seem so sad. If that’s the main reason you want to have a partner, make sure it is not the most important, or better looking a classmate of address. It is less committed and less hurt them both if separated.
There are lesbians, insecure, perhaps too young or immature, who have just not decide if they feel attracted to another woman or a man, not even admit that may be bisexual. I remember the case of a client who lived alternately with a “boyfriend” and a “bride”, not quite realize who the two loved. It is a terrible mistake to live as a couple, with anyone, only to leave doubts feelings toward that person or to reassert their convictions. If you’re gay or straight, you’ll know without committing to anyone and suffer and cause suffering to others. Do not rush, and study your wishes.
Yes, it may sound very crude, said that. But there are so many people unsure of their potential to attract other or with such low self-esteem, which are attached to the first woman who approaches them, although they have very clear his feelings. Being able to enjoy sex with one’s partner also gives them the feeling of having triumphed, “to be like the others,” although emotions to the couple are not well defined. Confused sexual appetite with real sentimental love. There are also couples where the point of attachment is more tastes affinities or characters of both sexual attraction, the other side of the same coin. These behaviors, and enhance self-esteem or solid form couples and blissful. Sooner or later, something will highlight the ambiguous situation.
More people than we thought it would, if they were honest with themselves. The status of “partner” led to believe that some are more important than when they were alone, or are better views or integrated by their acquaintances or friends groups. The couple as medal is not so unusual. It is those people who can not have a social life outside your partner or act individually. They are reinforced by public only in the shadow of someone, “his” partner who represents them and takes the roost for them. It is a clear sign of low self-esteem and emotional dependence.
This “syndrome” could be a compendium of some of the above reasons. Everyone likes to feel that your partner understands and protects you, but here we mean that personal fear of facing the difference, for example. For lesbians, as for any social minority, it is difficult to cope with some everyday areas. Everything seems easier if two people who face, but do not let that “common front” is the only thing that binds you to your partner. Losing the fear of who you are and others, individually, it will be what really strengthen you. You can get it, you’re right.
If you live with a partner with whom suddenly no longer the same old union or attraction, many people feel imprisoned by fear that relationship is broken, by dysfunctional it is. Those who have previously suffered a painful separation, I think a lot before to go through this unpleasant and confusing welter of emotions. But a couple who no longer loves is not guaranteed to live happy or quiet. Sooner or later you have to make the decision or the other person will take for you, and suffering appears the same. We must take courage, remember that there will always be new opportunities, and that emotional dependence is not a substitute for love.