The relationship mutates at the same time and the same rate as the two members of the same go through different stages. Evolves, changes and adapts. We can say that through different stages, although they are not always the same and with the same and exact intervals.
Anyway yes there is some general lines in which almost all experts have a consensus, there would be 6 different stages that almost all relationships go through and are as follows
1. Infatuation. Butterflies in the stomach.
This is the first stage. It is full of idealism and virtues and defects. All the other is wonderful and the couple feels absolutely united and in communion. They not want to spend time apart and physical contact is continuous. Is the stage of kisses in the middle of a conversation, joined hands to walk, everywhere caresses and eternal conversations.
The partners are enraptured with each other.
It is a stage where disputes and discussions do not exist, and if it were to any, will live with a terrible drama and intensity.
It is important to learn at this stage to maintain full independence even sharing with others. We must learn to let go to rediscover and respect the individuality of the other from the beginning. This is one of the secrets to success in a couple: balancing common areas and individual autonomy. Nor should we lose the essence and personality to please the other. It must be shown as one to be known accepted and loved as is. Later it would be very difficult to change the concept that our partner has of us. It is the stage of fixations and learning, if we simulate, we lie.
2. Strengthening and adaptability. The stage of peers.
The infatuation stage leads to the fellowship. They have not disappeared passion or sex. The attraction is still there but not as urgent. The symbiosis is disappearing and differentiation of each individual as such is allowed while the structure of the pair forming a “we”. Both members of the relationship feel safe and trust each other. Individual spaces are given to meet again after more willingly. no longer afraid to discuss (not fight) and accepted in other have different opinions and tastes. The couple is accompanied and enjoyed from the “I” and “us”.
3. Coexistence. Make a home.
When the couple has established itself, it has been measured and has reconciled any differences. It’s time to go a step further. Begin to make plans for the future, it is considered a coexistence and the possibility of forming a family. The overwhelming passion of phase 1, gives way to a sweet calm. It’s time to do together, to start looking together in one direction instead of looking at each other with rapture. Love becomes stronger but the guard and familiarity is also low and routine can bring some conflicts and discomfort. It is a stage where communication is essential to establish what annoys or what needs the other without arguing.
This is also the stage of learning of individuality and self-assertion. It is no longer enough to have a space independent time, but individual and exclusive activity is necessary for a while. Comes the need to differentiate the other, to oxygenate and take into account their own needs against those of the couple and even the family. The insecure person may be afraid that the couple spend time alone and away from it for fear of losing. It is necessary to develop confidence, in addition to communication.
4. mutual and voluntary Commitment
From the 10-year relationship, and thereafter, the swings can happen as in any of the above stages but successfully resolved crises help consolidate the relationship ever. There is a moment in the couple that you know what to expect from the other, do not expect, and is accepted as is. Without the idealization of the first stage without struggle, dispute and growth, sometimes painful, of the second and third. When the children are grown or partner has met most of its goals, it is eye contact, and feel, honestly, we want to continue side by side. It is a decisive and crucial moment. Many couples break up after 10 or 20 years of marriage because they were only united by projects that have been completed.
We’ll call this last stage of the mutual commitment, the phase of life we accept gladly continue with our partner despite all those things we do not like so much and that is not the same person we met. Neither do we. The important thing is that the couple has come together in growth at this stage that decides consolidate forever. If there is an “always”.