Cultivate positive thinking brings many benefits: helps you cope better with the problems and difficulties and thus to live in a more relaxed way, attracting people who make you good and favorable circumstances. Undoubtedly, see the good side of life is always beneficial to our health and wellbeing.
However, there are times that positive thinking is not so much an attitude towards life as a screen in which we hide behind to avoid facing our darkest part that hurts and mystifies. In addition, we live in a society that promotes superficial optimism, and that encourages us to consume to forget our sorrows or to use social networks to share only our brilliant or glamorous moments.
“Positive” thoughts hidden suffering
With regard to love and romantic relationships, bad focused positive thinking can be very harmful when not express our inner truth, it becomes a way to hide our wounds that prevents us from recognizing our true feelings and act in a loving way with ourselves.
Here are some examples of false positive thoughts actually keep you stagnant
“I am great and that I do not appreciate that nag”. Of course they say this sentence it can be to believe, but all too often hear talk of women who feel hurt and scorned by the betrayal of a lover.
“If I focus on my relationship good, the bad disappear alone.” The New Age philosophies of life teach us that energy follows thought: the areas where we are strengthened energy and intention. But that does not erase the disagreements with your partner or cause to be magically compenetren even though their values and life goals are very different.
“Everything happens for something” or “done something bad.” These phrases make sense for spiritual people, and it is certainly true that all experiences provide valuable lessons that often do not understand until later. But you should never use those words to justify the unjustifiable, as staying with someone who abuses you, or get rid of the responsibility to make decisions about your life.
“Everything is perfect as it is.” Like the previous thought, this phrase can be used as an excuse for inaction (for example, if you are unhappy with your partner but it gives you separate you fear) or change the beliefs that are boycotting your love life (like “No one wants nothing serious “).
Self-help and love
Who has not read a self-help book after a breakup? There are excellent, but not all are useful. Many of them convey the message that just thinking positive to attract a great love. But the truth is that thinking is not enough.
Most of us do not have peace of mind and inner balance needed to house only positive and loving thoughts. We also have painful and disturbing thoughts and emotions. When the label as “negative” and strive to erase our reality, believing that only by being positive find someone who wants us, those thoughts still wide awake in the unconscious, and make our love life does not end to flourish.
So many self-help books and devour many positive affirmations you repeat without thinking, your deepest beliefs continue to govern your love life. For example, you may want to convince you crave more than anything in the world to have a partner, but your father left you when you were a little girl and that pain is still alive in you, though repressed, and is much stronger than any positive affirmation.
Less thinking, more feel
A truly loving attitude begins with yourself but describe your thoughts and emotions as positive or negative. This way you’ll stop feeling guilty for failing to be “sufficiently positive” (which hides the impossible desire to “be perfect” for you want) or frustrated because even though you do not manage to strive to attract love.
The next step is to stop thinking so much and start to feel, be daring to look inside yourself and recognize and embrace your part shade. From there you can promote what is good for you, and that is good for you, and you stay away from what is harmful. This is how cultivate a truly positive and healthy attitude born of your heart, and not theory.